2014 Full Daily Blog Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UbhMcegVP0
July 22 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 7 Courage To Change Alcoholics Anonymous [ Full daily blog link: http://donoddylondon.blogspot.com/ ] Today’s AA daily reflection: “the good and the bad…” Like the film, the good the bad and the ugly! We all have the capacity to be
driven towards the good the bad and the ugly of how any human can behave in different circumstances. Good news when sober, we know the difference in what is good for us and is good for other people, and that we can be
deflected off this path on any given day…
Step seven is really and truly about accepting our humanness, that we can live to good conscience with humility and we can find our darker sides when we are up against difficult times in difficult circumstances. The phrase or
saying, “the ends justify the means” is often said when we step out of our boundaries of good sense and good behaviour to justify an outcome we desire or feel is necessary at the expense of other people…
We will be drawn towards living an open, honest and willing life. We will benefit from finding out the truth of life on a daily basis, what we can do and what is against our reasonable outlook are the cannot do moments. If we
know the truth, the next part for me as being a loving person and cherishing people even though I may have those standards and ideals, what the rest of the world does is not for me to judge or try control. Truth, love and
asking for help keep me on track more often than not for a day…
Hearing another person speak recently, of their recovery and sharing their experience strength and hope was a delight. And more importantly, they realised their situation with regard to alcohol far sooner? As I write this I
realised I could drink most of my friends under the table from my late teens and I realised my behaviour was different. My denial of the problem was 35 years or more. Good to see that others find fellowship and recovery
much earlier than I these days…
I was able to share recently that step six and step seven are really key each and every day. With enough humility to ask for help I find the courage to change, faith to do the next right thing and keep on learning the wisdom to
know the difference. I learn equally from times of fear, putting on a brave face and ego like a figleaf covering up my shame and guilt about being less than you. I am not less than anyone in terms of rights and responsibilities
and look to courage, faith and confidence to keep me safe just for today…
DonInLondon [ Full daily blog link: http://donoddylondon.blogspot.com/ ]
AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections http://www.aa.org/lang/en/aareflections.cfm
AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve http://www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=359
Step 7 “Step 7 Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings” “The way we have come to look at humility is that it is a virtue, one of the principles that AA teaches us to live. The definition we have adopted pictures us as
standing naked before God, without pretense nor reservation. It means hiding nothing, being our real selves, both good and bad. A good synonym for humility is honesty.” BB Bunch
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Step 7 “Courage To Change” Reading Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agVuLKhdqk8
July Video Reading Step Seven Into Action Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueS51r5FzH4
July Playlist All About Step Seven: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL00B8ABECADC67C82
I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about
recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me “truth,” “love” and “wisdom” offer the best spiritual experience by living reality
today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
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Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service
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Email | don@doninlondon.com
Music | “music for airports” By Brian Eno | http://www.enoshop.co.uk/ |
July 22, 2013 step seven in mind: “judge not lest ye be judged…” How on
earth can I get out of judging the world and being critical, when the world
has been judging me for years? Can be a problem because our brains function
by perceiving our environment and then judging it. As nature intended, we
are always on the lookout for safe places, dangerous places and exciting
places. Our emotions play on every judgement and every element of life.
Maybe that is why I need be careful with my emotional judgements, and I can
be okay with the thinking judgements about people, places and things…
All day long automatically perceiving the world and judging it and it is
natural. And all day long we have experience of life playing its role in
the decisions we make from moment to moment. When anyone is feeling right
in the moment of now it is probably because they are in a safe place doing
something familiar and things are okay. And yet we need to be aware that
our environment: people, places and things can appear to be good, bad and
ugly and any combination of these because that is the way life is. We all
have memories of good bad and ugly, where emotions can run high to the good
joyful and happy, bad angry and resentful and ugly where our ugly outlooks
and attitudes and behaviours can turn something good into bad and ugly very
quickly. Usually a reaction to people in particular who have attitudes and
behaviour which we are wary of with good reason?
I can be righteous and have justifiable anger, white hot anger when people
undermine my self-esteem and treat me badly. These occasions can manifest,
not very often these days because I have learned that when people are at
their worst, it is the best they can be in that moment and if I can detach
myself quickly enough from feeling undermined and let down, or simply made
to feel foolish and stupid, I don’t need to join in with the bad and
horrible behaviour I have learned over the years. Belligerent people make
other people belligerent. Hurt people, can hurt other people. Murderous
people can make other people murderous. In recovery having experienced all
manner of hell along the way, we have experiences which can come into the
present moment when we feel attacked emotionally. And physically, the best
thing I ever do is to walk away whenever possible.
When we are confronted with the unacceptable truth of others, especially
when they are cheats and liars, our emotional temperature is raised! From
feeling, to thought to action. We feel the rise of temperature, we are
thinking quickly in the moment and the action could be catastrophic for us
and whoever may be around us in those moments. I have seen others erupt
quite alarmingly, without too much provocation into apoplectic fits of
rage. When pride and ego are thin, just below the surface is fear which
offers anger and violent outrage to erupt. Some of those turn the rage and
anger inwards looking for what we have done to have caused it, others will
lash out and look to blame and create an impact on others. Depending on our
experience in the past, we can be mortifying bad and ugly in our responses.
Courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and the confidence
to meet challenges means we are able to weigh situations far better than we
ever did before. We don’t need to resort to pride and ego, and we don’t
need to fear what of the people think of us, because if we do start to
think about what people think of us in a way which matters, when we are
treated badly life turns out to be quite bad. I wanted to improve the
services of my landlord recently, and persisted and wished to make a point.
I got my apology, and understanding of how services were to be improved,
and only time will tell. In the interim, all the things which went wrong in
the first place are now starting to come back and nothing has been resolved
with regard to repairs, mice and maintenance. The problems remain and only
when I start the repair process all over again will I find if there have
been any changes of any significance. I need to ask myself the question:
although there are many things wrong, how much of my life do I want to
spend trying to put things right for myself and improve the outlook of
other people as a result? The answer is quite simple, report and request as
the process offers, and under no circumstances consider trying to change
other people, places and things. The repairs will be done and I will remain
powerless over the inadequacy and ineptness of others. So I forgive and
forget, and my life will not be impacted by the desire to control the
uncontrollable, how people are and what goes on in their heads!
I felt the need to say all those things because I met with a friend on
Saturday who helped me immensely when another person enraged me in my early
recovery. Meeting highly controlling, highly manipulative individuals,
conmen and con women, who take away self-esteem and evoke rage is very
difficult when we are trying to be open honest and willing to live a new
way of life. My friend years ago, was instrumental in helping me out of a
murderous fantasy of revenge. And it was me judging the other person by my
values and expecting them to behave like me in an open honest and willing
way. And there are many people who do live an open honest and willing life.
But when we encounter others don’t, who are dishonest, close down and
unwilling, the sooner we leave them to their own devices the better. They
may have something we want or need, or simply we can’t avoid them for some
reason, I have learned the hard way that some people need to be left to
their own devices and they are poisonous to me and my life. Poisonous
people do not change because we want them to. Poisonous people are best
left to find other poisonous people who they can live with in harmony or
total dysfunction, and in my own opinion what they do is none of my
business.
And over the weekend another friend, had been hugely wounded by the
behaviour of someone else they trusted. When trust is broken, when we are
left hurt not only by the event of now, but every event which evokes the
same feeling, upset, rage and revenge rise up within a person. When we feel
these justifiable feelings, and the feelings a vote from times past, it is
not about swallowing them down or pushing them away, it is about
recognising the early-onset of a trigger to self-harm or murderous intent.
All these emotions boiling and steaming up reality. The reality is when
someone is so poisonous to us as individuals, walk away and accept that
their poison need not seep into our lives any more than the passing moment
of now. Or all hell can break loose inside us and then we can lash out and
find ourselves in trouble. And equally, the pain within as these hurts
manifest… It is so important to see the early signs of poisonous people,
not to get the better of them, simply to walk round and keep on walking. At
all costs we need not correct them; all we need to do is get out of Dodge!
How am I feeling this morning? In the UK apparently a royal baby is about
to come out. And the newscasters are very excited. I just hope it comes out
okay, and people feel happy about it and that mum and dad enjoy the
experience and the baby’s not traumatised. I had a great day yesterday,
being with and in the presence of loving people. And this morning the sun
feels powerful coming through the windows, dust particles float in the air,
and thunderous downpours are not too far away. Reminds me of my time in the
Caribbean, which can read as grandiose. I spent a long time away from
family and the Caribbean; it was a geographical runaway before I understood
the notion that wherever I went I would always be there. At the time the
Caribbean, it was far less expensive than living in London, and afforded a
hiding place on the way to rock bottom. And surviving a category five
hurricane, a drinking binge of many months and still without a clue, I
still love the romance of stormy weather, and look forward to the visual
and the crescendo of thunderclaps today…
Courage to be me today? Yes, I will do something useful. Faith in doing the
next right thing today? Yes, I can be open honest and willing, I know the
limits of what I can do and what I cannot do. And can I be confident today?
Yes I have the confidence to be supportive and challenging at the same
time, do my best to be level-headed and if I can’t get what I need, I need
to be able to let go thinking I can change people places and things to my
way. It’s always difficult, and as M Scott Peck suggested, “life is
difficult” and as long as I accept it is going to be difficult, it ceases
to be a problem to try and make it my way today. There will be a way
forward, just for today.
Alcoholics Anonymous Videos, AA is for Alcoholics, AA12 Steps, Addiction
And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,
Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video July 22 2014
July 22 Video
Alcoholics Anonymous | July 22 | DonInLondon | Step 7 “Courage To Change”
My mum is unwell. And my mum lives with my sister quite a long way off, and
mum had to go to hospital to be observed and then medicated for rapid heart
rate, high blood pressure and various other things. My sister is doing her
best, and is ensuring that mum gets the right treatment as far as possible.
When something like this happens, it really highlights the gaps, the lack
of continuity, the shortage of staff, bad handovers, lack of information,
and the general fuck up the NHS has become. All the steps are needed. And I
need to respect the way my sister wants to handle matters, and she is very
capable. I love my mom dearly.
Thankfully my sister was able to tell me this morning what I needed to know
and what I needed to do. Which is to sit tight, and await instructions. And
I’m completely compliant because Louise knows what to do. Louise my sister,
told me to be prepared for any eventuality. And thank goodness I have a few
years sober and the steps. A whole bunch of emotions erupt, and step one is
the starting point to helping me cope.
There are distractions fortunately, the state of my abode and its impact on
my neighbour through no fault of mine. I was able to share the latest news
with my sister which made her laugh, and I laugh about it too because it is
never-ending. Anyway with the courage and fortitude to await instruction,
faith that the best is being done, I’m hoping and confident that whatever
happens next, we will be able to cope together. Hopefully mum will recover,
at the same time if I get to her age, I will indeed be a fortunate
individual.
Another distraction on top of everything else, they are digging up the road
outside, with diggers and pneumatic drills and the usual cursing from
“Murphy contractors.” When I asked myself how my feelings were being
impacted, I didn’t really need much thought. When I watch the news about
aeroplane disasters, the state of Israel and Gaza, the appalling tragedies,
and even the opening of an enquiry about a Russian spy shows me my emotions
are on a rollercoaster. And that’s okay, that is how I cope by letting the
feelings happen rather than holding back tears.
Recovery is beautiful, restored to sanity we see the insanity. We know the
can do and cannot do, we work with what we have and with everyone. Recovery
is not about control, it is about making the best of what is and what we
can do. Working with others is imperative, and corporation is based on
mutual respect. Providing of course we do get mutual respect, life will
flow positively. Sometimes we do hit brick walls, and we need to consider
the pain involved trying to break them down rather than walk around them.
Step Seven Video 12 And 12
Alcoholics Anonymous | Step 7 Reading 12 & 12 |
Alcoholics Anonymous Videos, AA is for Alcoholics, AA 12 Steps, Addiction
And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,