January 31 2014 Full daily blog link: http://donoddylondon.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/alcoholics-anonymous-jan-31-2004-2014.html | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 1 “Powerless” | Alcoholics Anonymous | “old life experiences, new life experiences.” contingent on our spiritual condition! No matter what is going on today, good, bad or ugly, we are having a spiritual experience. We can feel distracted, in the moment we do not connect, we cannot hear what is going on, and respond to the present moment. Or we may be fully engaged in the moment of now and feel right and connected and able to cope with reality. Nobody is immune and completely focused in the moment of now, all the time, because life will always have its ups and downs…
When I was new to recovery, a newcomer, my experience and wisdom had me on my knees, overwhelmed and living in my less preferred traits and extremes of negative behaviour. Sometimes call defects of character, the extreme elements and personality traits are about excessive and persistent fear, isolated and pretending to be okay and not showing my feelings by putting on a brave face, and my ego covering up shame and guilt about my illness and fatal malady. As a day timer, or “old timer” in fellowship, all these defects of character, a defect being an extreme, rather than the natural amount of something relating to what is going on now, one day at a time. I have been learning how to have the courage to change, develop faith in doing the next right thing, and asking for help when help is needed to resolve and cope in the present moment of now. The shift from step six and the old life, to step seven and the new life where we learn how to be open, honest and willing to make good one day at a time…
As a newcomer I had read the AA literature, the AA big book, the AA twelve steps and twelve traditions book and quite a number of other pamphlets and books, including as Bill sees it, written by the co-founder of the fellowship. After all that reading and absorbing, if you had given me an exam paper to test my knowledge, I feel I would have done reasonably well. So if fellowship had a graduation day, based on knowledge, I would have passed with flying colours? Well, good enough, I feel I would have been okay. And then I would have missed the point completely, knowledge and an exam would not have helped at all when it comes to emotional and spiritual living. Understanding my emotions in the moment of now, is wisdom learned from experience and not from a textbook. And fortunately there are no textbooks in fellowship, simply the sharing of experience, strength and hope and written by people in recovery in the moment. We can write our own book of experience, based on our wisdom of living, and it is the experience of life which is enhanced when we understand and live the principles of the twelve steps and the twelve traditions. The starting point, always today, and the finishing point? There is no finishing point when it comes to the emotional and spiritual experience…[continues on the blog: http://oddbook.co]
DonInLondon [ Full daily blog: http://oddbook.co ]
Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,
AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections http://www.aa.org/lang/en/aareflections.cfm
AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve http://www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=359
January 2013 | Step One Reading Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZEA67loEnw
January 2013 | Video Reading How It Works: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Rj3wPVvk3Q
January 2013 | Video Reading A Vision For You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8B5pqwGXgU
January 2013 | Playlist About Step One: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFF27FC43CF7CF17C
don thank u so much. tough doin this 4th step. feel lonely and went over my
last so called relationship. gotta let go completely. self vs godswill. do
the next right thing. no meeting 2nite but one 2morrow. im glad and god
bless keep blogging.
letting go is very difficult for all the reasons you know Kris. And I still
need to practice letting go, acceptance is a daily practice. Relating the
situation helps, no matter how many times we need express the feelings, we
need do so. And time helps as new relationships may form and we get
perspective back… eventually, And then we find how to cherish good
memories? Again eventually we do… thanks for the reminder in pulling me
back into today…
YOUR WELCOME WELL DONE SITE. I LIKE CHECKING IN WITH U. IM AN
ANGLOPHILE,NOT SURE WHY. GUESS ITS THE ROCK MUSIC REALLY. MY TASTES BECAME
MORE ENGLISH AND BRIT CENTRIC IF U WILL. USA CAN BE BORING AT TIMES. LOVE
HOME THOUGH. THANK U FOR LETTING ME SHARE THAT. KEEP UP THE BLOGS!
hey don, thanks so much for your blog. it is so very encouraging for me. i
am new to recovery. i live in a fairly remote area of australia and can’t
access daily meetings, so hearing your one voice regularly is such a
blessing. please thank your sister for me! i appreciate your work and i
hope you will feel able to continue blogging for us out here in cyberspace.
keep coming back! it works if you work it.
thank you, slight glitch over last couple of days, getting back on track
thank you, and keep safe today! regards Don
The success rate for AA is about 5% – the same for those who don’t use AA.
Alcoholism is NOT a disease. It’s a sickness & an excuse not to stand up &
face your problems. You’re not powerless against your addiction, but you’re
too weak to act against the reasons for it. Be it cigarettes, drugs,
alcohol, if I chose to quit, I quit. I’ll attend a meeting, every once in a
great while, to remind me of what I don’t want to be: weak, pathetic &
believing some magical god figure will make it all better.
then don’t be weak or pathetic, powerlessness is not about weakness, it is
a strength. God does not have anything to do with sobriety in the way you
would wish it to be. And regarding 5%, I reckon it is less than that. AA
does not fix you, AA gives you a choice to live reality daily… And you
are right it becomes a free choice to live sober, how people live sober is
non of my business in this context, judging others is never a cure…
Go to any AA, NA or any 12-step meeting, you will hear people whining about
stuff that happened MANY years ago, Person after person… pathetic, weak
and whiny. To them, I simply say: look in the mirror for the blame – not
that bottle – grow a set, grow up, get over your whiny bullsh*t, make up
your mind, once and for all, to put down the bottle and get on with your
life. I’ve no use for weaklings. I’m a former spec-ops Lt. Col.. so don’t
even try to tell me what weak or strong is all about!
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be
in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all
persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even
the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
It’s so nice to see that so many people are speaking out against the AA
cult these days.
Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | Jan 31 2004 – 2014 | DonInLondon | Step
1 “Powerless”
January 31 Video
Alcoholics Anonymous | Jan 31 2014 | DonInLondon | Step 1 “Powerless”
DonInLondon January 31, 2014: I have a lot of gratitude to simply be alive
today. All these years of living extra time courtesy of the fellowships of
addiction. My primary addiction? To an old lifestyle where alcohol was my
best friend, and I didn’t know about the other behavioural addictions
connected with work and romance were issues. These days, living longer I
even have gratitude that I was diagnosed with type I diabetes some years
into recovery. And today, the meeting was all about trust, learning to
trust Fellowship and the process of recovery which works just for today. It
may be just for today, and this is true, and it is also true that it is
quite a number of years since my last indulgence in something which was
killing me faster than anything else.
Meetings, early-morning meetings have helped me gain perspective and help
me set myself up for daily challenges. I have always been a fan of any
meeting at any time of day, but in particular, January has been a difficult
month. So these early-morning meetings of different fellowships which are
on my doorstep have been immensely helpful. I love people without
conditions and meeting new people to love unconditionally is momentous. I
don’t know if I shall stick with early-morning meetings, it depends on my
mobility which is sorely challenged. Either way, meetings at any time of
day provide perspective beyond my own about reality, emotionally and
spiritually: coping in the moment of now and being able to see the truth as
it unfolds.
Emotional and spiritual: I was becoming angry and resentful in the moment
of now to the point where I was willing to give up trying to challenge a
series of unfortunate events piling up with the medical practice who are
caring for me inadequately and sporadically. Anger and resentment in
recovery is not good, and working through these feelings on a day by day
basis helps me gain perspective rather than me spiralling into apathy and
underlying anger contaminating my existence. I appreciate everybody who has
given me advice and support and to share the truth as it is and how I am
experiencing it.
So life isn’t all a box of chocolates in recovery, far from it. We still
need to contend with life which is always difficult in some way or other.
As M Scott Peck said, “life is difficult,” he then went on to say if we
accept that life is difficult we will probably cope with most things that
happen. And coping with things that happen does not mean we sit in silence,
we sometimes have to sit up and be challenging and if we can in the
challenge we can be supportive. And then there are times when challenge
needs to be made because: because there is a challenge and something to be
put right.
I have great gratitude this morning, the light and dawn breaking with
cloudless skies and wisps of mist, squirrels running up and down trees and
the silence of London just about waking up and the thrum starting. And
being in a meeting, sharing about the issues of trust and how we develop
trust in our own abilities, and how to ask the help when we are uncertain.
The instant feedback from a friend who is new to me, continue with my
challenges because I am certainly not the only one experiencing
difficulties with medical people who are being torn in two by conflicting
directives. In the old days in private companies, these conflicting
directives often lead to psychotic behaviour in senior managers and their
supervisors. The writing has been done by others on this subject in many
business schools, but of course not everybody has the experience of
psychosis until they are in it, or indeed on the other side of it.
“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become
unmanageable.” Experiencing feelings and knowing what they are helps me
understand a great deal more than I ever did before. Knowing what my
feelings are, rather than feeling suspicious about what was going on and my
inability to speak out left me very unbalanced emotionally. Today I don’t
deny the truth of my feelings, if I know the truth as I see it, sharing the
truth with another person can help me gain a bigger perspective and see
more of the truth. This is possible by being powerless and surrendering to
the truth as it is and not just my version of truth. I surrender to the
truth of now as it unfolds day by day. May the experience of truth continue
every day.
DonInLondon 2004 – 2013
January 31 2013 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 1 “Powerless” | Alcoholics
Anonymous | “old life experiences, new life experiences.” contingent on our
spiritual condition! No matter what is going on today, good, bad or ugly,
we are having a spiritual experience. We can feel distracted, in the moment
we do not connect, we cannot hear what is going on, and respond to the
present moment. Or we may be fully engaged in the moment of now and feel
right and connected and able to cope with reality. Nobody is immune and
completely focused in the moment of now, all the time, because life will
always have its ups and downs…
When I was new to recovery, a newcomer, my experience and wisdom had me on
my knees, overwhelmed and living in my less preferred traits and extremes
of negative behaviour. Sometimes call defects of character, the extreme
elements and personality traits are about excessive and persistent fear,
isolated and pretending to be okay and not showing my feelings by putting
on a brave face, and my ego covering up shame and guilt about my illness
and fatal malady. As a day timer, or “old timer” in fellowship, all these
defects of character, a defect being an extreme, rather than the natural
amount of something relating to what is going on now, one day at a time. I
have been learning how to have the courage to change, develop faith in
doing the next right thing, and asking for help when help is needed to
resolve and cope in the present moment of now. The shift from step six and
the old life, to step seven and the new life where we learn how to be open,
honest and willing to make good one day at a time…
As a newcomer I had read the AA literature, the AA big book, the AA twelve
steps and twelve traditions book and quite a number of other pamphlets and
books, including as Bill sees it, written by the co-founder of the
fellowship. After all that reading and absorbing, if you had given me an
exam paper to test my knowledge, I feel I would have done reasonably well.
So if fellowship had a graduation day, based on knowledge, I would have
passed with flying colours? Well, good enough, I feel I would have been
okay. And then I would have missed the point completely, knowledge and an
exam would not have helped at all when it comes to emotional and spiritual
living. Understanding my emotions in the moment of now, is wisdom learned
from experience and not from a textbook. And fortunately there are no
textbooks in fellowship, simply the sharing of experience, strength and
hope and written by people in recovery in the moment. We can write our own
book of experience, based on our wisdom of living, and it is the experience
of life which is enhanced when we understand and live the principles of the
twelve steps and the twelve traditions. The starting point, always today,
and the finishing point? There is no finishing point when it comes to the
emotional and spiritual experience…
As a newcomer, living in the moment of now was hell, or rather speaking
only for me, living in the moment in the first few days of sobriety was
hell. “Rattling” around, sleepless, body constricted and the dull ache in
my mind and in my body, wanting a drink, and not needing a drink as drink
would mean I would have to start over. The insanity: was always about
self-medication and expecting I would be okay the next day, which led to
dependence and addiction and continuously expecting the next day to be
better and it never was. Breaking that insanity of wanting a drink to fix
the pain, I wanted a drink, and a drink was the last thing I needed if I
were to change anything and try get a bit of courage, just an inkling, have
some faith that of others had stopped maybe I could for another day and
have enough confidence that it was worth the effort and exposure to other
people to try make my life work once more, for a day…
Pounding the pavements, walking to meetings in the first ninety days, as
many meetings as I could. Reading the AA big book, reading the twelve and
twelve, and anything else which might help really did help keep me focused
on sobriety. I could see the connections, and read the words which made
sense in reading them, and why was it I still felt so horrible and out of
touch with reality? Simply, I had no peace of mind and was full of
paranoia, looking over my shoulder and wondering when the world would end.
These are the defects of character. I started to realise that pretty much
everything I had done in the last days of drinking had provoked and made
possible the living hell of every defect of character. So I stop drinking,
and somebody said, “it might feel worse, before it gets better…” They were
right, at the same time, as the rattling stopped and the physical pain
abated, I started to listen to people with courage, people with faith and
people with confidence. It started to rub off, the feeling that life was no
longer hopeless and that life could be hopeful again. I really needed to
understand that I was making a change in how to live life, and the only way
to get the wisdom was simply to keep on living the new life, so I too would
have experience and wisdom just a very little bit at a time. And for a day…
Everything in fellowship falls into place. Eventually, realising the old
life was full of spiritual experiences and wisdom, and what I cannot do in
the future. And the new life, was all about the can do in the moment of
now, and I was learning the difference just one day at a time. And also
realising that we are all imperfectly perfect, sometimes we go backwards
and sometimes we go forwards in our learning about what we can and cannot
do. Cannot do: the old life of step six, can do: the new life in step
seven, developing my shortcomings which in my case was all about courage to
change, faith and asking for help and accepting it was never going to be
straightforward because help, like life, is somewhat haphazard and never as
immediate as I might expect or want…
In the AA big book, in appendix II, it is all about the spiritual
experience. Now that I understand that the best spiritual experience for me
is where emotional and spiritual are in the moment of now: knowing my
feelings and coping with reality, or rather, experiencing feelings which
fit the present moment, and I can cope, and if I can’t, I can ask for help.
There are times when we cannot connect to the present moment and those
spiritual experiences are when we are out of touch with reality. When we
have a breakthrough, where we suddenly realise that life will improve in
the present moment, we feel enlightened, and we can feel exhilarated. A bit
like the journey from “rock bottom,” to “rock on, life rocks…”
The good news in recovery is, sober we have a chance to cope with every
eventuality, and if we cannot cope, we can ask for help. Once I put down
the books for a few weeks and started to relax and realise that sometimes
some peace and serenity would be possible, I started to relate to people in
fellowship and become part of fellowship. I parked my judgement of myself
and other people, joined in, started listening and started laughing at the
worst of times, and really laughing at the best of times. I was afraid that
if people saw me having fun, they might judge me badly. After a while, I
stopped worrying about what other people thought, I started to feel it was
okay to start from scratch all over again, without the burden of
expectations and entitlement based on the old life, and just start again
with a new life. Nothing had been wasted if I were able to live and
experience life real one day at a time…
I don’t know about the nature of other people, but I do know that if I
stopped going to meetings and stop relating to people in recovery, I get
forgetful and old life behaviour can creep back in quite quickly. And this
is why I try to relate what it is like to be a newcomer making those first
steps in recovery. And when I go to meetings and stick close to fellowship,
I am reminded of myself and how easily anyone can slip backwards and then
find themselves full of the old problems and attitudes which can then lead
to drink. The fellowship works. In unity, service and recovery. And the
first step, made by a newcomer is the beginning of fellowship, where unity,
service and recovery begin by just being there. And then as we feel able,
we volunteer to do what we can, when we can. All we need do is be a part of
something bigger than us, where there is experience, strength and hope
shared one day at a time… And this is how it is been working for quite a
while. And always just for today…
January 31 2012 | Daily Reflection Powerless over alcohol, people, places
and things is my daily reminder. And I know I need to learn powerlessness
over computers if I don’t read the instructions. Which helps me realise
there are steps and an order if life and anything is to be manageable.
Humour, powerlessness and unmanageability are a constant reminder of what I
can and cannot do today…
Today’s AA daily reflections: “our Common welfare comes first” is about
unity, service and recovery within the fellowship. We are all equal in our
society as individuals. We abide to decisions made in our group conscience.
At the same time our whole philosophy is about freedom of choice as
individuals, the very essence of sobriety one day at a time…
“The whole is greater than the sum of its parts” and fellowship offers a
safe place to grow and develop because of the experience strength and hope
we learn over the years, always one day at a time. Sometimes we do go
backwards to rediscover and relearn so we may go forwards again, as
individuals and as a fellowship.
There will always be loud and noisy persons in our groups, and that is just
as life is, and what we need to remember in the group and in fellowship,
and especially in the group conscience each voice is equal and each vote is
equal. This works in real time and face-to-face, which is why we remain
trusted servants and there are no leaders, or the essence of unity service
and recovery is lost…
DonInLondon 2005-2011
Learning how to be open, honest and willing with twelve steps of AA has
opened the door to a new way of life, sober one day at a time. In unity
service and recovery, the twelve traditions serve all as we understand
them. If you or I relapsed, the hand of AA is always there, that is my hope
today…
Sometimes we are in a meeting where everyone is open and honest sharing
their truth and the truth leads to more truth. The preamble, a reading from
the big book, an honest chair and we share from the heart, how it was and
how it is today, the meeting after the meeting, almost as long as the
meeting!
AA Daily: OUR COMMON WELFARE COMES FIRST JANUARY 31 ~ The unity of
Alcoholics Anonymous is the most cherished quality our Society has. . . .
We stay whole, or A.A. dies. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 129
Our Traditions are key elements in the ego deflation process necessary to
achieve and maintain sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous. The First Tradition
reminds me not to take credit, or authority, for my recovery. Placing our
common welfare first reminds me not to become a healer in this program; I
am still one of the patients. Self-effacing elders built the ward. Without
it, I doubt I would be alive. Without the group, few alcoholics would
recover. The active role in renewed surrender of will enables me to step
aside from the need to dominate, the desire for recognition, both of which
played so great a part in my active alcoholism. Deferring my personal
desires for the greater good of group growth contributes toward A.A. unity
that is central to all recovery. It helps me to remember that the whole is
greater than the sum of all its parts.
-/-
Step One Video 12 & 12
Alcoholics Anonymous | Step 1 Reading 12 & 12 | DonInLondon
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 1 | Bill’s Story |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 1 Bill’s Story |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 2 | There Is A Solution |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 2 There Is A Solution |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 3 | More About Alcoholism |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 3 More About Alcoholism |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 4 | We Agnostics |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 4 We Agnostics |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 5 | How It Works |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 5 How It Works |
Alcoholics Anonymous Videos, AA is for Alcoholics, AA 12 Steps, Addiction
And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,