Alcoholics Anonymous | April 6 | DonInLondon | Step 4 "Fear Less Inventory"

Don DonInLondon says

April 6, 2013 at 4:21 am

Alcoholics Anonymous | April 6 2013 | DonInLondon | Step 4 “Fear Less
Inventory” a thorough self-appraisal is often seen as clearing the wreckage
of the past. Clearing the wreckage, a self-appraisal of the: who what when
where how why… Understanding why life turned out the way it did and our
part in it helps to understand our situation. It certainly is not about
forgetting, and it is not about ignoring the past, it is about changing
from a life of fear, pride and ego to a life where we can have courage to
change, faith in doing the next right thing and building our confidence to
keep on learning the truth of how to live today…
Video For Today:
Alcoholics Anonymous | April 6 2013 | DonInLondon | Step 4 “Fear Less
Inventory”
Fearless? Living to the truth, courage to change, faith and confidence can
keep on working well in the company of like-minded individuals. I remember
someone saying that every time they open their mouth, a lie seem to drop
out as swiftly as the truth was lost. We don’t want to hurt people, and we
don’t want to be hurt by people. And sometimes it may seem better to be
silent, or to share a lie which accommodates. Accommodating the views of
other people can really undermine your own truth. I cannot suggest what is
right for you, I do know what is right for me, and sometimes it makes life
very difficult. The truth of me, I can share this and express it, with
feeling. The truth of anyone else, that I judge, is not helpful to me or
them. But if we are asked, how we answer is as it may be in the moment of
now… Nobody said it was going to be easy!
I have deep gratitude for the help and support of fellowship. And this is a
two way process. Sometimes my thoughts and opinions and beliefs, when
asked, I do share the truth. It is only true to me when it comes to
opinions and beliefs, and I need to respect everyone has their own outlook.
And this is the beauty of fellowship, nobody is trying to convert anyone
into a belief system which is not right. And if they do try… Usually they
get short shrift from their fellows. It is so important to be respectful; I
learn more about the truth every day in our emotional and spiritual
journey. What was true yesterday, is not necessarily true today. The
fearless moral inventory helps me learn about truth, and the truth can be
good, the truth can feel that and the truth can reveal ugly. Open, honest
and willing, letting go fear, pride and ego was essential and it still
essential today. Sometimes the quiet life, will undermine everything,
sometimes everything depends upon the truth in the moment of now… When we
are at war with ourselves, like Winston Churchill suggested: “the first
casualty of war is truth…” And the first step in recovery is admitting and
accepting that we are powerless over alcohol and if we drink life is
unmanageable all over again… I do believe this to be true…
Still in touch with a friend who was in fellowship. Some years ago, now
living in a faraway country, and still working out whether they are an
alcoholic, or just fed up with the world… Still believing even though I
have said to the contrary, he said that my life was easier and the decision
to give up the drink by me was the only sane thing to do. Even though I
have said it many times now, the response that life is easier for anyone
trying to give up the drink is a myth. Addicted. And step one, two admit
and accept and be responsible for what happens next, is the hardest of all.
If we have truly accepted and do so on a daily basis, and keep faith,
confidence and have courage to change, anything is possible because reality
and living reality is far better without a cloud in our heads and the
fantasy of power over addiction…
And in the first couple of years of recovery, because of the way my medical
practice works, rarely do we see the same doctor twice in a row. At the
time I was attending another outpatient clinic in Soho, London, to learn
all the cognitive ways to keep sober. In my medical practice in Chelsea,
one doctor considered that alcoholism was a lifelong disease. This was an
old Doctor who had seen many patients in recovery, and many addicts still
flailing and at odds with the world. The younger Doctor demanded that I
accept I was recovered and did not need any further help. If two doctors
cannot agree on the disease itself when they are working side-by-side and
at the same time I am attending or was attending another clinic to help me
with my thinking and drinking potential, no wonder I was able to make a
good choice to stick with fellowship, where it was never about thinking, it
was about dealing with my feelings and the actions to keep sober one day at
a time… And these conflicts and opinion outside fellowship, I am grateful
to have taken notice of fellowship and get the freedom of choice back into
my life. And this has been going on for quite a few years, one day at a
time…
Understanding the brutal truth of who we are, it becomes a truth we can
cherish over time. From black and bleak and desolate, a place some call
hell, we do find redemption. If only we can overcome our own self
prejudice, self-harm and learn how to clear the wreckage of the past. It
may seem a brutal exercise, but until we see our part in what happened and
accept the truth of what we did, it will always be difficult to live to the
truth of now, even when it is bleak, it is far better than the fantasy of
the past. I can say this for myself, and I understand it now, but it was
horrible to look back at the loss and desolation caused by alcohol over the
years. No wonder that anyone anywhere, asking for help, I hope there is a
hand held out there for anyone suffering from addiction. Today is a good
day to be responsible and share a message of experience strength and hope,
we never know, we open the door to new way of life of hope and fellowship
today…
Alcoholics Anonymous | April 6 2012 | DonInLondon | Step 4 “Fear Less
Inventory” “a lifetime process…” The good news, we get sober just for a
day. Even better news, we can make progress just for a day. This is our
timescale in recovery, as a fellowship and as individuals and sometimes
progress can be one step forward and two steps back and still we make
progress just for today…
Video For Today:
April 6 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 “Inventory” | Alcoholics
Anonymous
An acquaintance gets in touch after a few years, having chosen a path awash
with alcohol. I wonder what to do, and try work out what best to do.
Impatience gets the better of the person I know and then many complaints
levelled at me and people in fellowship. An honest reply, about taking
responsibility as an individual and not blaming. And also admitting the
limitations of what I can and cannot do today and what I cannot do today,
there are others available when a person asks for help…
When I hear people complaining about the fellowship, there are usually two
components which shine through to frustrate newcomers. Newcomers do not
connect or understand the AA preamble. And that we are people and very
human, in recovery today. Which means the fellowship is what you see is
what you get, as good as the people you meet today. A newcomer can only
judge an old-timers sobriety as they behave and act today. Whether an old
timer behaves badly or even tempered, as long as it is obvious why, then
experience strength and hope is shared and the truth is, that some days
sobriety is brutal in the moment of now…
I prefer what I saw at my first meeting. Some people happy and impossibly
gleeful. Some people shivering denizens! Some people who didn’t give a
damn. And some people who did take an interest and tried to help. Just like
any community it was real and not pretend. The difference was a level of
honesty I had not seen in a long while, truth and the ups and downs of
life, experience strength and hope shared as each person could, and just
for a day…
Attraction and not promotion. Attraction for me is WYSIWYG, what you see is
what you get and life is messy and revealed in meetings. I feel good when
bleeding deacons share their pet theories, because I too can be a bleeding
deacon and there are no guarantees in our society. What we do have is the
opportunity to keep on learning what works for us as individuals and how
the steps offer a lifetime process of learning by doing. What seems right
for me, can be catastrophic for you on any given day…
No other society and I have not found one myself offers greater opportunity
for each of us to find our own particular path in life. At the same time as
each of us is finding our path, with a desire to stop drinking, in unity
and service and recovery we make the best of what is possible each and
every day…
DonInLondon 2005-2011
Happy, joyous and free! Or unhappy, sad and imprisoned? Romance and
finance… How am I feeling, why and what can I do? No romance presently,
still learning to be me, and I’m free. Finance, needs met and not wanting.
Happily open to romance and not yearning, no need to fear, no need to put
on a brave face. I can learn and endeavour today…
Living in the moment, feeling life as it is, rather than willing it
different, knowing what we can do, knowing what we cannot, we see our
choices and know what changes we can make. Connected to reality, with
choices, dreams become possibilities in the moment of now. We share, gain
wisdom, change as we may, needs met wants forgotten, and can strive for the
achievable just for today…
We are all spiritual, everything is spiritual? ~ “It is very important to
generate a good attitude, a good heart, as much as possible. From this,
happiness in both the short term and the long term for both yourself and
others will come. We learn the art of the possible, the probable and
reality, the truth of now” inspired by the Dalai Lama…
-/-
AA Daily Reflection: A LIFETIME PROCESS We were having trouble with
personal relationships, we couldn’t control our emotional natures, we were
a prey to misery and depression, we couldn’t make a living, we had a
feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn’t
seem to be of real help to other people. . . . ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 52
These words remind me that I have more problems than alcohol, that alcohol
is only a symptom of a more pervasive disease. When I stopped drinking I
began a lifetime process of recovery from unruly emotions, painful
relationships, and unmanageable situations. This process is too much for
most of us without help from a Higher Power and our friends in the
Fellowship. When I began working the Steps of the A.A. program, many of
these tangled threads unravelled but, little by little, the most broken
places of my life straightened out. One day at a time, almost
imperceptibly, I healed. Like a thermostat being turned down, my fears
diminished. I began to experience moments of contentment. My emotions
became less volatile. I am now once again a part of the human family.
-/-
As Bill Sees It ~ Material Achievement No member of A.A. wants to deprecate
material achievement. Nor do we enter into debate with the many who cling
to the belief that no satisfy our basic natural desires is the main object
of life. But we are sure that no class of people in the world ever made a
worse mess of trying to live by this formula than alcoholics.
We demanded more than our share of security, prestige, and romance. When we
seemed to be succeeding, we drank to dream still greater dreams. When we
were frustrated, even in part, we drank for oblivion. In all these
strivings, so many of them well-intentioned, our crippling handicap was our
lack of humility. We lacked the perspective to see that character-building
and spiritual values had to come first, and that material satisfaction were
simply by-products and not the chief aims of life.
-/-
Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 4 Inventory, DonInLondon, Don
Oddy,
-/-

Comments

Don DonInLondon says

April 6, 2013 at 4:21 am

Alcoholics Anonymous | April 6 2013 | DonInLondon | Step 4 “Fear Less
Inventory” a thorough self-appraisal is often seen as clearing the wreckage
of the past. Clearing the wreckage, a self-appraisal of the: who what when
where how why… Understanding why life turned out the way it did and our
part in it helps to understand our situation. It certainly is not about
forgetting, and it is not about ignoring the past, it is about changing
from a life of fear, pride and ego to a life where we can have courage to
change, faith in doing the next right thing and building our confidence to
keep on learning the truth of how to live today…
Video For Today:
Alcoholics Anonymous | April 6 2013 | DonInLondon | Step 4 “Fear Less
Inventory”
Fearless? Living to the truth, courage to change, faith and confidence can
keep on working well in the company of like-minded individuals. I remember
someone saying that every time they open their mouth, a lie seem to drop
out as swiftly as the truth was lost. We don’t want to hurt people, and we
don’t want to be hurt by people. And sometimes it may seem better to be
silent, or to share a lie which accommodates. Accommodating the views of
other people can really undermine your own truth. I cannot suggest what is
right for you, I do know what is right for me, and sometimes it makes life
very difficult. The truth of me, I can share this and express it, with
feeling. The truth of anyone else, that I judge, is not helpful to me or
them. But if we are asked, how we answer is as it may be in the moment of
now… Nobody said it was going to be easy!
I have deep gratitude for the help and support of fellowship. And this is a
two way process. Sometimes my thoughts and opinions and beliefs, when
asked, I do share the truth. It is only true to me when it comes to
opinions and beliefs, and I need to respect everyone has their own outlook.
And this is the beauty of fellowship, nobody is trying to convert anyone
into a belief system which is not right. And if they do try… Usually they
get short shrift from their fellows. It is so important to be respectful; I
learn more about the truth every day in our emotional and spiritual
journey. What was true yesterday, is not necessarily true today. The
fearless moral inventory helps me learn about truth, and the truth can be
good, the truth can feel that and the truth can reveal ugly. Open, honest
and willing, letting go fear, pride and ego was essential and it still
essential today. Sometimes the quiet life, will undermine everything,
sometimes everything depends upon the truth in the moment of now… When we
are at war with ourselves, like Winston Churchill suggested: “the first
casualty of war is truth…” And the first step in recovery is admitting and
accepting that we are powerless over alcohol and if we drink life is
unmanageable all over again… I do believe this to be true…
Still in touch with a friend who was in fellowship. Some years ago, now
living in a faraway country, and still working out whether they are an
alcoholic, or just fed up with the world… Still believing even though I
have said to the contrary, he said that my life was easier and the decision
to give up the drink by me was the only sane thing to do. Even though I
have said it many times now, the response that life is easier for anyone
trying to give up the drink is a myth. Addicted. And step one, two admit
and accept and be responsible for what happens next, is the hardest of all.
If we have truly accepted and do so on a daily basis, and keep faith,
confidence and have courage to change, anything is possible because reality
and living reality is far better without a cloud in our heads and the
fantasy of power over addiction…
And in the first couple of years of recovery, because of the way my medical
practice works, rarely do we see the same doctor twice in a row. At the
time I was attending another outpatient clinic in Soho, London, to learn
all the cognitive ways to keep sober. In my medical practice in Chelsea,
one doctor considered that alcoholism was a lifelong disease. This was an
old Doctor who had seen many patients in recovery, and many addicts still
flailing and at odds with the world. The younger Doctor demanded that I
accept I was recovered and did not need any further help. If two doctors
cannot agree on the disease itself when they are working side-by-side and
at the same time I am attending or was attending another clinic to help me
with my thinking and drinking potential, no wonder I was able to make a
good choice to stick with fellowship, where it was never about thinking, it
was about dealing with my feelings and the actions to keep sober one day at
a time… And these conflicts and opinion outside fellowship, I am grateful
to have taken notice of fellowship and get the freedom of choice back into
my life. And this has been going on for quite a few years, one day at a
time…
Understanding the brutal truth of who we are, it becomes a truth we can
cherish over time. From black and bleak and desolate, a place some call
hell, we do find redemption. If only we can overcome our own self
prejudice, self-harm and learn how to clear the wreckage of the past. It
may seem a brutal exercise, but until we see our part in what happened and
accept the truth of what we did, it will always be difficult to live to the
truth of now, even when it is bleak, it is far better than the fantasy of
the past. I can say this for myself, and I understand it now, but it was
horrible to look back at the loss and desolation caused by alcohol over the
years. No wonder that anyone anywhere, asking for help, I hope there is a
hand held out there for anyone suffering from addiction. Today is a good
day to be responsible and share a message of experience strength and hope,
we never know, we open the door to new way of life of hope and fellowship
today…
Alcoholics Anonymous | April 6 2012 | DonInLondon | Step 4 “Fear Less
Inventory” “a lifetime process…” The good news, we get sober just for a
day. Even better news, we can make progress just for a day. This is our
timescale in recovery, as a fellowship and as individuals and sometimes
progress can be one step forward and two steps back and still we make
progress just for today…
Video For Today:
April 6 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 “Inventory” | Alcoholics
Anonymous
An acquaintance gets in touch after a few years, having chosen a path awash
with alcohol. I wonder what to do, and try work out what best to do.
Impatience gets the better of the person I know and then many complaints
levelled at me and people in fellowship. An honest reply, about taking
responsibility as an individual and not blaming. And also admitting the
limitations of what I can and cannot do today and what I cannot do today,
there are others available when a person asks for help…
When I hear people complaining about the fellowship, there are usually two
components which shine through to frustrate newcomers. Newcomers do not
connect or understand the AA preamble. And that we are people and very
human, in recovery today. Which means the fellowship is what you see is
what you get, as good as the people you meet today. A newcomer can only
judge an old-timers sobriety as they behave and act today. Whether an old
timer behaves badly or even tempered, as long as it is obvious why, then
experience strength and hope is shared and the truth is, that some days
sobriety is brutal in the moment of now…
I prefer what I saw at my first meeting. Some people happy and impossibly
gleeful. Some people shivering denizens! Some people who didn’t give a
damn. And some people who did take an interest and tried to help. Just like
any community it was real and not pretend. The difference was a level of
honesty I had not seen in a long while, truth and the ups and downs of
life, experience strength and hope shared as each person could, and just
for a day…
Attraction and not promotion. Attraction for me is WYSIWYG, what you see is
what you get and life is messy and revealed in meetings. I feel good when
bleeding deacons share their pet theories, because I too can be a bleeding
deacon and there are no guarantees in our society. What we do have is the
opportunity to keep on learning what works for us as individuals and how
the steps offer a lifetime process of learning by doing. What seems right
for me, can be catastrophic for you on any given day…
No other society and I have not found one myself offers greater opportunity
for each of us to find our own particular path in life. At the same time as
each of us is finding our path, with a desire to stop drinking, in unity
and service and recovery we make the best of what is possible each and
every day…
DonInLondon 2005-2011
Happy, joyous and free! Or unhappy, sad and imprisoned? Romance and
finance… How am I feeling, why and what can I do? No romance presently,
still learning to be me, and I’m free. Finance, needs met and not wanting.
Happily open to romance and not yearning, no need to fear, no need to put
on a brave face. I can learn and endeavour today…
Living in the moment, feeling life as it is, rather than willing it
different, knowing what we can do, knowing what we cannot, we see our
choices and know what changes we can make. Connected to reality, with
choices, dreams become possibilities in the moment of now. We share, gain
wisdom, change as we may, needs met wants forgotten, and can strive for the
achievable just for today…
We are all spiritual, everything is spiritual? ~ “It is very important to
generate a good attitude, a good heart, as much as possible. From this,
happiness in both the short term and the long term for both yourself and
others will come. We learn the art of the possible, the probable and
reality, the truth of now” inspired by the Dalai Lama…
-/-
AA Daily Reflection: A LIFETIME PROCESS We were having trouble with
personal relationships, we couldn’t control our emotional natures, we were
a prey to misery and depression, we couldn’t make a living, we had a
feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn’t
seem to be of real help to other people. . . . ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 52
These words remind me that I have more problems than alcohol, that alcohol
is only a symptom of a more pervasive disease. When I stopped drinking I
began a lifetime process of recovery from unruly emotions, painful
relationships, and unmanageable situations. This process is too much for
most of us without help from a Higher Power and our friends in the
Fellowship. When I began working the Steps of the A.A. program, many of
these tangled threads unravelled but, little by little, the most broken
places of my life straightened out. One day at a time, almost
imperceptibly, I healed. Like a thermostat being turned down, my fears
diminished. I began to experience moments of contentment. My emotions
became less volatile. I am now once again a part of the human family.
-/-
As Bill Sees It ~ Material Achievement No member of A.A. wants to deprecate
material achievement. Nor do we enter into debate with the many who cling
to the belief that no satisfy our basic natural desires is the main object
of life. But we are sure that no class of people in the world ever made a
worse mess of trying to live by this formula than alcoholics.
We demanded more than our share of security, prestige, and romance. When we
seemed to be succeeding, we drank to dream still greater dreams. When we
were frustrated, even in part, we drank for oblivion. In all these
strivings, so many of them well-intentioned, our crippling handicap was our
lack of humility. We lacked the perspective to see that character-building
and spiritual values had to come first, and that material satisfaction were
simply by-products and not the chief aims of life.
-/-
Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 4 Inventory, DonInLondon, Don
Oddy,
-/-
kris s says

April 7, 2013 at 8:32 am
Don DonInLondon says

April 8, 2013 at 4:27 am
kris s says

April 8, 2013 at 2:15 pm