2015 Full Daily Blog: http://donoddylondon.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/alcoholics-anonymous-blog-january-4-2015.html January 4 2014 [ Full daily blog: http://donoddylondon.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/alcoholics-anonymous-jan-4-2014.html ] 2013 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 1 “Powerless” | Alcoholics Anonymous | DonInLondon | Always good to start with step one in January, is a mental jogger to remind myself about life in general. Step one is we admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable. And in my case I need to remind myself about all the things that can be frustrating. Deliveries, the weather, and especially the computer! My computer is not used to making videos and it’s taking a bit of time to understand how to make a video again and publish it. I have turned everything around in my living space to accommodate video production… The result is chaotic.
In recovery what seems frustrating is just part of life. I always wanted to get things done immediately, I would work myself into the ground when others are gone home. I would go home, absolutely knackered, wondering why other people did not do what I did, finish the job and get on with the next. I had no sense of balance, working all hours and getting things done was good and I was successful, at the same time it would cause me to burn out faster and breakdown more thoroughly. Today I can live in chaos, things do not have to be just so, and I take the time to find balance and stop when I need to stop. This is not selfish behaviour, it is common sense behaviour. Part of step one, is using common sense and gumption!
I remember being involved in a project to downsize an organisation by 22,000 people. Downsizing, a horrible term for ridding an organisation for people no longer required because of technology and a business model philosophy. I hated it, and it did me no good as a human being. Some business models are destructive for the sake of being destructive to achieve profits for shareholders, and not necessarily for the benefit of customers and certainly not for the benefit of the workforce. It also had a political element to it, the most important element was profit in the short term and not in the long-term. Powerless I was, and I stayed involved far longer than I should, because I didn’t know any better at the time… I became really proficient in restructuring, at the expense of principles and integrity… Never again…
Romance! Always wanting to be the perfect man for the perfect girl. Most of the perfect girls I met drank like me and I loved them very dearly. At the same time, alcohol, being a good social lubricant, it does nothing for reality and learning how to be in a relationship. I guess the girls were striving for perfection, as much as me! And whenever we fell short, relationships ended or simply too many relationships were going on all at the same time. It was exciting as well as degrading if one were to look at it realistically. We were all imperfectly perfect, and driven to an ideal impossible without relating in the real world of now… Completely different today, if there is to be romance, for me it must be one girl and one man relating in the moment of now… Unconditional love is what we learn in recovery…
DonInLondon [ Full daily blog: http://oddbook.co ]
AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections http://www.aa.org/lang/en/aareflections.cfm
AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve http://www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=359
It has been a while, but I’m glad to see you are still on here.
HNY, Don .. from we in Oz. This is my 2nd Innings in AA .. my second-chance
.. been back for 16 months. My first Innings was in Sydney, 11 yrs,
1991-2001. Was sober for 20 yrs, a divorce in 2010 led to a relapse
(‘tippling’, only, thank god) in 2011. Hopefully, folks are putting Steps 6
7 & into their lives, & they DON’T have the ‘exact, same’ defects they
walked into AA with. Also .. less of “the next right thing” .. and more of
something akin to the Buddhist eight-fold virtues. Col
<3
Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | January 4 | DonInLondon | Step 1
“Powerless” |
“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become
unmanageable.” Speaking for myself, I need to translate the twelve steps
into an active statement: “I do admit I am powerless over alcohol, and that
if I drink today the consequences are life will become unmanageable all
over again.” If I ever forget or feel that I can go back to drinking
without consequences, bad consequences, the only person I will be fooling
is me.
January 4 Video
Alcoholics Anonymous | Jan 4 2014 | DonInLondon | Step 1 “Powerless” |
Step One Video 12 & 12
Alcoholics Anonymous | Step 1 Reading 12 & 12 | DonInLondon
DonInLondon January 4, 2014: fear, pride and ego can keep anyone in
everlasting ignorance about themselves, that their opinions and beliefs can
be challenged, that motivation to be stuck believing the sun revolves
around the Earth. It can be truly difficult to understand the nature and
consequences of addiction. It is also difficult for any individual to
believe that addiction is an emotional and spiritual malady, rather than a
simple physical affliction caused by over indulgence in a substance.
Whichever way you look at alcoholism, it is a very destructive, damaging
and life threatening ailment. One of the most destructive conditions any
human can have, is self-prejudice because it opens the door to every
prejudice available to any man anywhere. Just because I don’t see the world
as you do, it does not mean I am wrong or that you are wrong, it simply
means we both have a point of view.
Powerless over alcohol -and life is unmanageable. Two components to the
first step in the twelve step principles of living which have been evolving
through time in a timeless manner. The interpretation of each of these
principles depends upon outlook, attitudes, beliefs and opinions. And there
is a conundrum here, interpretation can lead to arguments about what each
step means. The more enlightened look at both or as many arguments or
statements connected with a particular action in order to derive a workable
solution one day at a time. My advice to anyone is keep it simple and work
with what works for you.
If we can admit powerlessness over alcohol, there is the first part of our
solution. Knowing what is wrong and what to do about it is really helpful,
and denial keeps putting us back into the driving seat or drinking seat. It
is easy to admit complete defeat one day and change our minds the next. I
know I was capable of this because I’m a human with all faults of any
human. Same goes for anything really, if we are finding something
disagreeable, we tried to ignore it, we tried to confront it and still it’s
there no matter what we do, usually the unacceptable truth. Just because
you find the truth unacceptable, it does not mean it is not the truth. And
of course on any given day, our emotional and spiritual nature can be
playing to the good bad or ugly of what we are confronting. Same goes for
people with different outlooks to our own, what does a non-alcoholic make
of an alcoholic? It usually starts with what the alcoholic feels about
themselves and if they feel attacked in some way by the non-alcoholic or
someone with a different set of understandings about how to live. When you
are digging yourself into a hole with no way out, usually the best thing to
do is stop digging.
Secretiveness will keep us stuck, it may be for a short while, it may be
for a long while, and often secretiveness is based on a feeling of fear,
pride and ego because to take the lid off what is going on in anything
means there is less room for manoeuvre or hiding. The saying within the
Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous and as far as I know is not part of any
of the literature, “secrets keep us sick.” And in the Fellowship, the
sickness of alcoholism can keep us sick. This includes me of course, I can
easily be wrong about anything. At the same time, have never found it to
anyone’s advantage, that is the mutual advantage of people getting on
together to keep secrets from each other. And this can open the door to all
sorts of statements about exceptions to the rule, that the truth will set
you free.
Anonymity in Fellowship provides sanctuary to find out how to be sober. In
a world which will heap prejudice on anyone anywhere, will utilise any form
of control manipulation in order to keep people down or frightened to speak
up, it behoves no one to start throwing stones at anyone for whatever
reason in a fellowship which is all about love and tolerance, learning what
it is to be an emotional and spiritual person one day at a time. Humility
is the ultimate in learning, being open honest and willing to explore all
elements and aspects of life without prejudice. Some may find this a bit of
a libertine attitude, because it means we question and develop our own
outlook, our own way of looking at the world and develop our own beliefs
and opinions. I mentioned this in response to the some individuals who find
truth to be the preserve of theirs and they the controllers of it, that is
the truth as they see it. Keep it simple? Hopefully we do. And live and let
live? We meet plenty of people in recovery who don’t want to let you live
and let live, they want you to live within their purview and their control.
That is not my way, and I cannot live their way without seriously
compromising other people’s values about freedom one day at a time.
Timeless principles work because they are timeless. And rarely have I seen
a person fail to understand the difference between a timeless principle
over personal belief and ignorance. Ignorance simply is the preserve of
those who will not accept other people have a point of view, which may or
may not be the truth, but if it is working for them, why mess with how
other people are living their lives? I’m of the opinion that if people are
behaving in an honest way, able to accept acceptable boundaries formed by
society and keep sober so they may keep on living and learning about life,
no rules laws or regulations need to be evoked, especially when they don’t
exist within Fellowship. So when somebody puts themselves up as custodians
rather than trusted servants, or lash out because they feel they are
trusted servants, to impose their will upon you, better to get out of Dodge
rather than get involved in another person’s crusade. Be yourself, life is
too short to kowtow and live in servitude. So I encourage everyone to
challenge and support each other, except that there will be differences of
opinion in regard to beliefs and opinions, because that is the way of the
world. Truth simply manifests when agreement is reached through dialogue
and interaction in the moment of now. And if that is so, it is a timeless
principle.
Even the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story said Max Ehrmann.
And for a long time I became dull and ignorant with the help of alcohol
which took the edge off me emotionally and spiritually as well as
intellectually and certainly reduce my capacities to think while under the
influence. And all the emotional stuff of life, namely our feelings were
either poorly developed, underdeveloped, overdeveloped and certainly
outside the natural instincts I was born with. And it takes time to thaw
out, learn what it is to move away from pride ego and fear, to a better way
of living with courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and
confidence to be open to all the possibilities the world and life offers.
Keeping secrets will keep me stuck in old attitudes, old beliefs, old
opinions and afraid of the new. It doesn’t mean that the new outlooks are
any better than the old outlooks, it just depends on what works for you as
an individual. I don’t believe that the sun revolves around the Earth, it
seems an obvious truth, and yet many over the centuries would disagree for
a lot of reasons, usually because it meant loss of face, that truth had
found something out and people were defending the indefensible: ignorance.
Of course I could be wrong. And back in the day, challenging the status quo
about the Sun and the Earth would lead to death. Nothing changes?
Anonymous is important or rather anonymity is important and critical to
develop an outlook of open honest and willing to live life truthfully. If
we did not have emotions like guilt and shame, if we were unable to make
people feel ashamed, it would probably be a better way to live. Of course I
could be wrong because that is my opinion. Anonymity affords an opportunity
to try find out the truth about ourselves, what makes us tick, and what
makes us sick. I never had the opportunity to have anonymity around my
ailment of alcoholism, at the same time, within the Fellowship, the cloak
of anonymity provided sanctuary to experiment and find out more about
myself and what might work trying to live one day at a time. I still find
it difficult to believe in the God of your understanding, because I cannot
see inside your head and I don’t know what is going on inside your head
other than what you share. And when you share venom, and when you
criticise, and when you are unyielding in your opinions, you deny others
their opportunity to make the best of what is the best in Fellowship:
learning how to love, learning how to be loved back and find useful
endeavours in life all over again.
A simple rule of thumb for each individual in recovery: “to thine own self
be true.” And although this is an idealistic proposition when we don’t know
what the truth is, the suggestion is progress not perfection. And when we
finally find some peace of mind, try not to undermine the peace of mind of
other people. Serenity and peacefulness is possible even under the most
adverse of conditions and often we find pride fear ego, envy and all the
negatives can undermine the good in life. Of course I could be wrong. And
yet, some things I find very difficult to accept, and I’m not trying to be
scientific or clever about anything, some things just don’t work in this
world for me. At the same time I don’t want to prevail or convert you to a
different opinion or belief, I don’t wish to undermine what you believe to
be true in the moment of now, because undermining you would be wrong,
because I could be wrong today. The acceptable truth of now reached through
dialogue and agreement? Of course we will have to agree to disagree or we
will both be wrong today. And the same is true for any group conscience
held in any gathering of humans one day at a time.
DonInLondon 2005-2013
AA daily reflections: is all about “Begin where you are…” Seems like a very
obvious statement, but when I started recovery I have a mountain of
unfinished business with the world, and my feeling was once I sorted out
what the rest of the world was doing, I could then work on me. And
obviously I got it the wrong way round, once I sorted out what I could do
and could not do on a daily basis, the rest of the world could be left to
get on with their business. It took a long time to realise I built the
mountain of unfinished business, and the rest of the world knew nothing
about it…
In my career I worked with a lot of very damaged people, and many of them
had drinking problems, and drug taking problems. In their opinion, there
was not enough drink and there were not enough drugs to solve their
problems. I would often help them find ways to resolve their problems and
they stopped drinking and taking drugs. And I never looked at me, going
home to take the edge off and push their problems out of my head with
alcohol. We don’t know we are an alcoholic until we get there because it’s
always them and never me…
Step one, powerless and unmanageable living: Even when we realise there is
something wrong, denial and always tomorrow to resolve the issue kept me
drinking because it was important to see through to the end of the day.
Step two, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and
expecting a different result. And that is the madness; I will sort it out
tomorrow and tomorrow never comes. By the time we admit and accept our
problem, we are at rock bottom. No wonder sobriety is one of the most
difficult journeys into recovery from addiction.
And even in the early days of recovery, I hoped after a few months there
would be an inner sanctum, where I would graduate and become immune to
addiction. The graduation would be celebrated with a drink, a cigarette, a
good time and girls adoring me. The pipedream probably kept me going for a
while and then reality bit hard. I got my through the pipedream and found
reality, with freedom to choose and learn life. No need to dream or fix my
life away… The girls would have been very welcome though…
“In order to succeed you must fail, so that you know what not to do the
next time” Anthony J. D’Angelo
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 1 | Bill’s Story |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 1 Bill’s Story |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 2 | There Is A Solution |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 2 There Is A Solution |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 3 | More About Alcoholism |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 3 More About Alcoholism |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 4 | We Agnostics |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 4 We Agnostics |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 5 |How It Works |
AA Big Book Video | Chapter 5 How It Works |
Alcoholics Anonymous Videos, AA is for Alcoholics, AA 12 Steps, Addiction
And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,
Alcoholics Anonymous Blog January 4 2015 “Powerless”
Video January 4
https//www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAFw6UIjjeI
In the moment of now, I am powerless over the way other people are feeling
and thinking. I’m also powerless over alcohol and no longer need to try and
control my drinking, because I don’t drink alcohol one day at a time. I
don’t crave a drink, but sometimes there is that elusive desire to control
people, places and things. Imposing my will on any situation without
consultation will make my life are manageable and the rest of the world
will carry on doing what it wants to regardless of me. Unless of course I
recall that I need to include myself, wherever I may be and be aware of
what is going on. We are all interdependent and if we are inclusive and
ask, we are more likely to get on with each other today.
Over the last few days, after Christmas and the New Year celebrations,
fellowship meetings tend to be more volatile as people celebrate in
fellowship without the need to drink. And yet there can be many disruptive
influences in family, community and work where celebration may well include
other people drinking and sharing in a nostalgic way about our part in
matters and how we used to be. A good way in the past for me has been to
acknowledge and admit and accept everything I used to be, and also say,
“that was then and that was the way I was back then, now, it’s a completely
different way to live without a drink and I’m happy being this way.”
Powerless indeed over the memories that I have and other people have of how
I used to be. I am a better version these days with the gift of sobriety
and acceptance of the past for what it was.
When we hear another person’s life story, when they share their experience
strength and hope, we hear usually just how awful rock bottom was before we
surrendered and admitted complete defeat. And the blindingly obvious news
in my case was I could not get sober and keep sober on my own. I needed to
ask for help. Once I understood that it was okay to ask for help on any
given day, vulnerability was not a weakness, it became a strength, because
I could ask anyone for help about anything and not worry or feel inferior
when I declared I needed help. And today vulnerability is a strength, and
when people respond positively and help, that is good. There will be
unfortunate times when people see this as a weakness, we don’t need those
people in our lives and we can let them be as they are and as they say
these days, “we can ‘jog on’ happily.”
A wonderful fellowship meeting, where we discussed a topic, “what is
emotional sobriety?” So many different ways to try and understand and try
to think the solution about emotional sobriety. Unfortunately life changes,
or rather it is most fortunate that life is changing all the time and if we
are able to feel our emotions in the moment of now, where they fit with the
current conditions today; that is most likely an answer to “what is
emotional sobriety?”
Where feelings fit in the moment of now and we are coping, all feelings
that are available to any human are most likely valid. Some things we can
cope with and feelings fit with our situation. Sometimes we cannot cope and
our feelings can be extreme. Asking for help is part of emotional sobriety
and learning about how to cope with life without trying to blot it out. If
I were to try and share all the things that were said most positively, it
would take a lifetime, fortunately one day at a time I can absorb and learn
enough to keep me on track today and very happy in this present moment of
now. Good news, happy right now, the vulnerability is I cannot control
whatever happens next and that is good and gives me excitement about life
moment to moment.
It’s been good these last few days, seeing people I know and see
frequently, seeing people I know and see infrequently, and meeting new
people just starting out and learning the painful path in early days. I
love them all! And what a good start to the year.
Step One Reading 12 & 12
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZEA67loEnw
Alcoholics Anonymous Videos, AA is for Alcoholics, AA 12 Steps, Addiction
And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,
Alcoholics Anonymous Blog January 4 2015 “Powerless”
Video January 4
https//www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAFw6UIjjeI
In the moment of now, I am powerless over the way other people are feeling
and thinking. I’m also powerless over alcohol and no longer need to try and
control my drinking, because I don’t drink alcohol one day at a time. I
don’t crave a drink, but sometimes there is that elusive desire to control
people, places and things. Imposing my will on any situation without
consultation will make my life are manageable and the rest of the world
will carry on doing what it wants to regardless of me. Unless of course I
recall that I need to include myself, wherever I may be and be aware of
what is going on. We are all interdependent and if we are inclusive and
ask, we are more likely to get on with each other today.
Over the last few days, after Christmas and the New Year celebrations,
fellowship meetings tend to be more volatile as people celebrate in
fellowship without the need to drink. And yet there can be many disruptive
influences in family, community and work where celebration may well include
other people drinking and sharing in a nostalgic way about our part in
matters and how we used to be. A good way in the past for me has been to
acknowledge and admit and accept everything I used to be, and also say,
“that was then and that was the way I was back then, now, it’s a completely
different way to live without a drink and I’m happy being this way.”
Powerless indeed over the memories that I have and other people have of how
I used to be. I am a better version these days with the gift of sobriety
and acceptance of the past for what it was.
When we hear another person’s life story, when they share their experience
strength and hope, we hear usually just how awful rock bottom was before we
surrendered and admitted complete defeat. And the blindingly obvious news
in my case was I could not get sober and keep sober on my own. I needed to
ask for help. Once I understood that it was okay to ask for help on any
given day, vulnerability was not a weakness, it became a strength, because
I could ask anyone for help about anything and not worry or feel inferior
when I declared I needed help. And today vulnerability is a strength, and
when people respond positively and help, that is good. There will be
unfortunate times when people see this as a weakness, we don’t need those
people in our lives and we can let them be as they are and as they say
these days, “we can ‘jog on’ happily.”
A wonderful fellowship meeting, where we discussed a topic, “what is
emotional sobriety?” So many different ways to try and understand and try
to think the solution about emotional sobriety. Unfortunately life changes,
or rather it is most fortunate that life is changing all the time and if we
are able to feel our emotions in the moment of now, where they fit with the
current conditions today; that is most likely an answer to “what is
emotional sobriety?”
Where feelings fit in the moment of now and we are coping, all feelings
that are available to any human are most likely valid. Some things we can
cope with and feelings fit with our situation. Sometimes we cannot cope and
our feelings can be extreme. Asking for help is part of emotional sobriety
and learning about how to cope with life without trying to blot it out. If
I were to try and share all the things that were said most positively, it
would take a lifetime, fortunately one day at a time I can absorb and learn
enough to keep me on track today and very happy in this present moment of
now. Good news, happy right now, the vulnerability is I cannot control
whatever happens next and that is good and gives me excitement about life
moment to moment.
It’s been good these last few days, seeing people I know and see
frequently, seeing people I know and see infrequently, and meeting new
people just starting out and learning the painful path in early days. I
love them all! And what a good start to the year.
Step One Reading 12 & 12
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZEA67loEnw
Alcoholics Anonymous Videos, AA is for Alcoholics, AA 12 Steps, Addiction
And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,