2015 Full Daily Blog: http://donoddylondon.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/alcoholics-anonymous-blog-january-4-2015.html January 4 2014 [ Full daily blog: http://donoddylondon.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/alcoholics-anonymous-jan-4-2014.html ] 2013 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 1 “Powerless” | Alcoholics Anonymous | DonInLondon | Always good to start with step one in January, is a mental jogger to remind myself about life in general. Step one is we admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable. And in my case I need to remind myself about all the things that can be frustrating. Deliveries, the weather, and especially the computer! My computer is not used to making videos and it’s taking a bit of time to understand how to make a video again and publish it. I have turned everything around in my living space to accommodate video production… The result is chaotic.
In recovery what seems frustrating is just part of life. I always wanted to get things done immediately, I would work myself into the ground when others are gone home. I would go home, absolutely knackered, wondering why other people did not do what I did, finish the job and get on with the next. I had no sense of balance, working all hours and getting things done was good and I was successful, at the same time it would cause me to burn out faster and breakdown more thoroughly. Today I can live in chaos, things do not have to be just so, and I take the time to find balance and stop when I need to stop. This is not selfish behaviour, it is common sense behaviour. Part of step one, is using common sense and gumption!
I remember being involved in a project to downsize an organisation by 22,000 people. Downsizing, a horrible term for ridding an organisation for people no longer required because of technology and a business model philosophy. I hated it, and it did me no good as a human being. Some business models are destructive for the sake of being destructive to achieve profits for shareholders, and not necessarily for the benefit of customers and certainly not for the benefit of the workforce. It also had a political element to it, the most important element was profit in the short term and not in the long-term. Powerless I was, and I stayed involved far longer than I should, because I didn’t know any better at the time… I became really proficient in restructuring, at the expense of principles and integrity… Never again…
Romance! Always wanting to be the perfect man for the perfect girl. Most of the perfect girls I met drank like me and I loved them very dearly. At the same time, alcohol, being a good social lubricant, it does nothing for reality and learning how to be in a relationship. I guess the girls were striving for perfection, as much as me! And whenever we fell short, relationships ended or simply too many relationships were going on all at the same time. It was exciting as well as degrading if one were to look at it realistically. We were all imperfectly perfect, and driven to an ideal impossible without relating in the real world of now… Completely different today, if there is to be romance, for me it must be one girl and one man relating in the moment of now… Unconditional love is what we learn in recovery…
DonInLondon [ Full daily blog: http://oddbook.co ]
AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections http://www.aa.org/lang/en/aareflections.cfm
AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve http://www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=359